Dear Muslim Men,
I don’t need another enemy.
Last night, I came across a tweet that someone on my feed retweeted. It was authored by a black Muslim female who wears hijab: “Let me just listen to Views two more times and I’ll have all the lyrics memorized like it’s Quran.”
It came as no surprise that when I clicked on the tweet my acquaintance had posted (he is a friend of a friend), I saw the myriad comments shredding this girl. Absolutely tearing her apart.
Responses by men included things like:
“Take off your hijab.”
“You’re a disgrace to Islam you n*****.”
“Go kill yourself.”
And much more…
I was appalled. The men posting these comments were Muslims. Muslims who, in their way of explaining it, were trying to “help and advise her.” They were so “offended” by this girl’s tweet that they felt compelled to show her the error of her ways. Because, of course, us women cannot think for themselves. We need you men to guide us.
Listen up, men. You always claim to be supportive, yet when someone makes a mistake, you attack and ostracize. You turn errors into a ticket out of Islam. And make no mistake, the group who tends to receive this kind of treatment the most are Muslim women, namely those of us who wear hijab.
We blame Donald Trump and Ted Cruz for hating Muslims. But how can we talk about them when you are just as bad? Being deliberately attacked by men who claim to be our brothers is becoming a problematic trend. You can’t blame the division amongst us on those outside of the community. You’re doing a pretty damn good job of that on your own.
You might say, “Well, it’s only Twitter.” And I would have to disagree and say, no it’s not “just Twitter.” We all know that cyber-bullying is a real thing. When you write insensitive things online, they are there forever (thank you, screenshots!). Hiding behind a computer makes you nothing but a coward. It’s so easy to be the big man behind a computer. But I have to ask… Would you have the guts to say that to my face?
The problem is that you men (ok, some of you, but too many of you) think you have the right to judge. God didn’t place you here to pick out our mistakes.Trust me. He can handle that job just fine. Your job is to focus on being the best person you can be. It’s okay to want to truly give someone advice. Telling her to kill herself is probably not the way. Neither is saying, “You don’t represent Islam!” You know who is not representing Islam? You!
Oh, and another thing. Stop using the term “hoejabi” to describe a female whose form of hijab you don’t agree with. It’s degrading, and believe it or not, it’s not your place to correlate the way she dresses to her level of faith.
Let me make it clear to you one last time. Muslim men, in no way, have a right to tell Muslim women how and why hijab is worn. Don’t underestimate our intelligence. We know what hijab is. And most importantly, you are not women! (Yes, I had to write that.) You do not have a target on your actual body, tying you to the most attacked religion on the planet. It is bad enough we have to shoulder hate from Islamophobes. We don’t need it from you too.
I have personally experienced many attacks from your sort. Being an outspoken, proud feminist will attract that. It’s almost like you forgot that Islam was the first religion to give women rights that other societies had failed to establish for us. You act as though the examples of women in the beginning of Islam didn’t include a business owner, or a leader of an army. Maybe you should go back to your roots and try learn what true Islam is. Then you can impart your “wisdom” on us measly women.
Yours Truly,
An Angry Hijabi
Love it! Thank you for writing that:)
I agree wholeheartedly. Ameen.
What you just wrote sounds completely and utterly backward to a European transgender feminist. It sounds utterly untrue.
Explain, please, what you mean by that. How is it untrue?
Assalamu aleykoum… I identify too as an European tg muslimah, but still have no idea what Khannea Sun Tzu meant. I have the opposite impression, definitely agree that Muslim men should stop policing and think about more important issues, such as those which divide the ummah. One always hears about the hijab of women, almost never about the hijab of men – double standards alright?
Assalamualaikum. You tell ’em, sister. Of all people, Muslim men should know enough to treat women with respect.
This is why I’ve taken off my headscarf. I’m a muslim, and my behaviour shows it. I don’t need to be targeted with hate. I’m able to do more good works now that I don’t have a target on me. Not saying everyone should chose my path. Just saying….the hate is real and we have to stand up and be who we are one way or another. Salam allaikum and may Allah bless every sister reading this with strength and hope.
So happy to see that it’s not just me that thinks that there are just too many muslim men going about making judgements and too many videos of idiotic imams lecturing on what women now a days are doing wrong and what young girls now a days are doing wrong. Focus on your own selves! No body is perfect and the constant picking up on wrongs of this girl or that girl is disgracful behaviour by some or rather quite alot of muslim men and this will only stop if all muslim women stick up and stick together. Sadly there are still too many women who would rather shred up a mother woman then stick up for her.
It seems that the writer forgot to read the women’s verse in the Quran where “God” gave her half testimony at the court, permitted her man to beat her up, and gave her half the inheritance of a man… this is the tip of an iceberg shall you read the Hadieth and see what the Pedophile Mohamad did to women. Jinan has so much Guts to call herself a “Muslim feminist”, it is like saying I am a Jewish Nazi.
Amin Shaheeb – I am a Muslim feminist and I am thoroughly disheartened by your comment. First and foremost, are you Muslim? I genuinely hope you are not simply by the ignorance of the comment but Inshallah Allah will guide you to the right path. As for your accusations about the superiority of men in Islam: 1. testimony is court misconception: women are only given credit for half of a testimony in court because women tend to be more emotional in situations and our emotions tend to cloud our judgment and sometimes our memory, 2. beating your wife misconception: men are only allowed to “beat” their wives only to the extent of using a GRASS STICK on her. A grass stick – have you ever seen grass before? 3. half inheritance misconception: if you were Muslim you would understand that women only get half the inheritance of a man because men in Islam are obligated to provide for their women, including but not limited to their mother, wife, daughter and sister. Women, on the other hand, have no obligation to use their own money for their family. Rather, each and every penny women make is THEIR OWN money and can be used in any way they feel necessary or desire. You dare call our prophet a pedophile? Let us be logical in this situation and look back at the time of the prophet – you are looking at this situation from a 2016 perspective, rather than looking at it in the time of our Prophet (saw). Your ignorance in Islam is that of many and is the reason Islam is judged and wrongly profiled in society today, causing many of our issues we face on a daily basis. The purpose of this blog (if I may, please correct me if I am wrong) is to demonstrate how men in Islam are criticizing Muslim women in ways they are, for most of them, religiously not permitted to do and it is those acts, in fact, that are contrary to Islam. There is a reason why “heaven is under your mother’s feet” – women have an incredibly high status in society and yet it is culture and judgments that lower this status – not Islam. Unfortunately, people such as yourself refuse to actually understand Islam because understanding this religion will completely turn your perspective on this religion upside down. Inshallah Allah will forgive you for such thoughts and find you on the right path.
Thank you for that reply, I was just about to write a reply on that but you beat me to it. May I add the women’s inheritance in Islam is only the half of what her brother’s take in the case of one of their parents dying, BUT in ALL the other cases, for example when her husband died or her grandparents SHE takes MORE inheritance than her brothers, or any male relative, but for some reason everyone seems to focus on her taking half of what her brother takes in ONE case. And as for the beating, the husband is only allowed to use the grass sticks on his wife’s hands only, and he’s not even allowed to shout at her!!
Oh that response doe ?
Bravo ???
That’s so true ???
Muslims should walk past the issue of Hijab, beard and Obaya. Let’s deal with the contemporary issues being faced by Muslims and the societies we live in. No one has the right to judge or degrade others regardless of how we may feel about certain issues. Muslims must contribute and radiate positivity to the communities we live in or claim to belong to.
I truly believe what she just said and by end.. my eyes were filled with tears… actually its so disheartening to be labeled by our own community and so judged for every bit we breathe in… Nothing satisfies them… these men know half islam.. they ignored the whole thing.. they go like.. men have upper hand blah blah blah.. women should dress modest.. then they go blah blah blah.. they only know what they want to know… not what its said.
Spot on my lady..also men (and women) who are replying to this thread and claiming its not true and asking her to explain herself…. here are two words for you.
Fuck off.
Sincerely,
Another hejabi.
I feel I need to translate this letter to Bengali o wake up some zealous brothers.
Thank you for your article – on behalf of ALL women!
all religious teachers are politicians they change rules to suit their own belief systems, we should really use our own intellect to differentiate right from wrong, after all we were not present when the holy books were written we are told that that is the words of God . or is it really? after all wars and politicians existed long before our time
Very well said….men don’t understand how to protect their Muslim sisters anymore !!!! Keep them in ur duas sister
I always tell my husband, it is Allahs job to judge. It is your job as a man of faith to give every person the benefit of the doubt. It is hard to let these feelings of hate and control roll off your back. I am not Muslim, but I wear a scarf. When the outside world creates pressure for me, it is a comfort to have some support and I have built a beautiful support system of Muslim, Christain and Jewish women and men. May you find love and support from your brothers and sisters. #ifeelyou
You know what angry hijabi, I hope u keep wearing that hijab forever. I love that u wear it. I find that it makes women look prettier. Dont let jerks like those donkey men cowards tell u otherwise. That hijab is your medallion. I hope I meet u one day inshallah to commend u myself. Sincerely, your Muslim brother
well said sister, finally we have women who can speak for them.
may allah bless u.
Allahu Musta’an! Every comment I have read tells me that “you people” need to study the Deen that you claim. My challenge to you is to bring a “Text” to support these statements. Most of the comments appear to be from either “marginal” uninformed, or totally ill-informed people. I will close with Allah Hada’ak (Praying for your guidance). If anyone would like to discuss the issue with evidence from the Qur’an and “Authentic Sunnah” I can be contacted @ yaseenu@yahoo.com otherwise i am outta here ??